Published in2 Ho Ho Ho’sLast-Minute Valentine’s Day Gifts for the Special Sleep Paralysis Demon in Your LifeThere is still time to get the perfect romantic gift for the hallucinated shadow demon of your dreams!Feb 13, 2022Feb 13, 2022
Existential Valentine’s Day CardsTime to tell that special person in your life that you too feel the constant dread of existence creeping into your heart.Feb 14, 20211Feb 14, 20211
Published inSlackjawHow To Tell If It’s Social Distancing Or Your Crush Just Isn’t Into YouDuring a time of true crises and mass panic this expert advice can help you with your top priority, figuring out the feelings of your crush.Mar 31, 20202Mar 31, 20202
Published inSlackjawIt’s Finally Time We Talk About How Pumpkins Can Feel Us Carve ThemHalloween time means finding that perfect costume, filling up on candy, and acknowledging that pumpkins can 100% feel us carve them.Oct 11, 20193Oct 11, 20193
Published inSlackjaw6 Revolutionary Features of the iPhone XS That Will Help You Forget About The First Mate You Left…Apple’s new flagship phone is the perfect cure for your haunted maritime pastOct 17, 2018Oct 17, 2018
The Vanishing Pope of South JerseyThis past weekend a papal scandal broke out in the quiet south Jersey suburb of Washington Township.Oct 16, 2017Oct 16, 2017
Published inGongshowPredators Spotted Practicing with Rulers Attached to Skates to Avoid Future Offside CallsIn response to P.K. Subban’s electrifying first goal being waved off after a controversial offside challenge, the Nashville Predators have…May 30, 2017May 30, 2017
Published inGongshowSabres have utmost confidence in puppet hire Jason Botterill says GM Jack EichelSabres General Manager Jack Eichel says he believes Jason Botterill is the perfect man for the fake job.May 20, 2017May 20, 2017
I Didn’t Mean to Bring My Cello to the Pepsi RevolutionIt was a day like any other. I woke up, walked the 57 floors to reach the helipad of my building, and then frantically played Cello for…Apr 14, 2017Apr 14, 2017
12 Other Things ISIS Just Remembered To Claim Responsibility For1. Loud fountainsJul 18, 2016Jul 18, 2016
